One more … just one more story, this is more than a desire for time to stand still, for the party to continue and for the light to remain lit, it’s a soul craving.
Stories speak to and kindle parts of our souls that are thirsty for more…more connection, understanding, recognition, expression, expansion and wonder.
The therapeutic components and qualities of ‘storytelling’ are well researched and used throughout time and today in a variety of fields from nursing to business coaching.
The Archetypal energies of the traveller, the mother, the lover and wise woman speak to our psyche. They lend us the ability to experience bravery, forgiveness and kindness. They offer therapeutic drops of love, compassion and courage to our soul.
The storyscape is a place where we can linger in the imaginal realm of love and loss, triumph and tribulation. The spoken word is powerful, a story shared and most importantly witnessed is transformative.
As a child ‘did you know…’ could very well have been my catchphrase. It was my opening line…my way of connecting.
I loved to share fun facts, and stories with anyone willing to listen… and often those who were clearly not willing…so if you’re still with me, I thank you.
I began my love of storytelling from a very young age and my most receptive audience were my stuffed toys, they hung on my every word, gesture, plot twist, song and occasional dance (I grew up heavily influenced by Bollywood).
Everything was possible, in the privacy and safety of my room, I shared my dreams and shared my fears…one day I was a newscaster, mum, doctor, teacher and the next day a successful business tycoon with a flair for fashion.
Most of us have a chapter or subplot that we would rather not share for a multitude of reasons; shame, guilt, fear of being found out, or betraying someone we love. Many of the reasons are often held so tightly they become our story and adopted truths.
The irony being the very act of not sharing this very sticky, uncomfortable, or supposedly ugly part of our story causes compounds the difficulty, causing the exact opposite of what we desire; a sense of separation in not only ourselves but those we wish to most connect with.
My parents came to England in the 60s from Pakistan, I was always the only Asian child in my school and neighbourhood.
I longed to be like everyone else and ‘fit in’. This feeling of being an outsider became part of my story and would stay with me for a while.
As much as I longed to be seen, included and accepted, I was more afraid of being rejected, and began to pretend and even made up similarities between myself and my friends in order to be accepted. I became an expert in masking the fear.
I can recall being aged ten, showing up to a school party wearing the same skirt as my aspirational ‘Best Friend’, I was so happy as this was fate…I couldn’t have planned this and the connection was as I’m sure you’ll agree undeniable.
My need to be the same and belong was finally being met…it took her one glance at me to point out that they weren’t the same and my skirt was missing the fine black patent belt she implied I copied her and was not happy.
In an instant, separation and anxiety with a sprinkling of humiliation. The bands around my small-self’s heart to keep it from breaking were tightened.
Motherhood bought a whole new sense of separation, when I stopped working for a while and struggled to find a group to belong to. I remember the energy and effort it took to get myself and my six-month-old baby to a local parent and baby group.
I was broken and exhausted, struggling with what I was later to discover undiagnosed post-natal depression at the time. I remember arriving late having abandoned not parked my car.
It was a gathering that felt uncomfortable and in hindsight I was able to enter and leave unnoticed. In truth I was also very reluctant. I wished I could just turn around and leave but I needed to do this for my daughter.
The impact of these feelings was profound and highlighted further to me the importance of inclusion, witnessing each other in such groups and how damaging a sense of separation or isolation can be.
Throughout our lives most of us have encountered feelings of separation, the feeling that something is missing, the sense that we showed up to the party not knowing the dress code.
These feelings and emotions can create the foundation for our thoughts, beliefs, behaviours and in turn reality.
Unhelpful thoughts if not held in awareness by oneself and or by another, can at best create stress, anxiety, self-doubt and at worst self-destructive thoughts and behaviours. Ultimately, hindering us from experiencing our wholeness of being.
Growing up, reflection and spirituality were part of my life, but want imprinted into my soul the deepest was sitting intentionally to eat, share, pray with family and friends at festivals or at times of celebration and loss.
This was when I most felt an elusive sense of belonging. Through reflection I learnt to hold and soothe the mental and emotional turbulence within me, but it was in the presence of compassion through another’s souls witnessing in community that I was able to heal.
The presence of compassion that is often inaccessible for oneself, can be tasted through another soul’s compassionate presence.
Decades of soul work later, I am still unfolding, learning to embrace my challenges with compassion and alchemise them for soul growth with the support of my family friends and beloved teachers and most importantly the communities I belong to.
Their remarkable presence has facilitated my shifts and evolution and in turn allowed me to be of service to others.
Witnessing another is alchemic, being fully with oneself in the midst of it ALL, the joy and the sorrow is deeply healing. The story we most long to hear and important to speak is that of our own trails and triumphs.
It’s the ground for individual and collective growth, having experienced the power of pure witnessing and had the privilege of creating space for others to connect with their own innate wisdom, I know this to be truly an alchemic process
As Freedom and expansion transpire, the bands of restriction and limitation are loosened and snap and around our hearts. Opening us up and we realise, we are not our story, we are infinitely more.
This awareness is amplified when in union with others, when one person shifts into their power, it becomes significantly more accessible for others to follow. There is no denying the power of collective energy when held with wise discernment.
The power of the circle, community and hearing each other’s story with reverence.
In the spirit of sharing and cultivating self-compassion, acceptance and a deeper connection first and foremost to oneself, I would like to offer you four simple practices that are rooted in ancient wisdom that I found offer me a sense of security, belonging and ease ;
Offer yourself the grace of the initial awkwardness of being the newbie and take time to acknowledge what feelings might be coming up for you, use the practise to reflect on the positive or uncomfortable moments and above all be kind to yourself as we are all mirrors and the world needs more kindness and inclusivity matter.
I wish you well on your path …
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